dearshuaiguy

so I met this new yorker chef last weekend at a dinner with friends. a really nice guy, born chinese but could really say one complete sentences in Chinese.

so far so good, as I love food i thought it was interesting to talk to him until he started to bug me a bit with his "new yorker" attitude.

He started off by saying that "soccer" used to be so unpopular, but is becoming more and more known.

I was a bit confused and asked him what he means; soccer has been around forever and has always been one of the most popular sports. His answer: "Oh, I mean in the US it is not."

Ah, right but we are currently not in the US and outside of the US it is a very popular sports, so you might want to adjust your view a bit.

Then he went on complaining about service standards in China and that ALL people are rude. Now he started to irritate me a little. Ok, yes things are different here, but I tried to make a point that the not everyone has the same degree of education here than in the US and that for a very long time there was no need for a service standard, because it did not matter.

I asked him if he has ever been to Europe. Quite suprisingly for me he has never been there. Really? As a chef you don't want to go and check out France and Italy?

Well, he said he did not get around to do that yet but he would love to go one day, fair enough..travelling is expensive so I assume that has been the reason and not that he thinks his country is the center of the world so there is not need to see anything else.

I told him that he might be quite suprised if he would go to Germany or France and that he might actually think service staff in China is amazingly friendly in comparision. When I went to Berlin last time I was happy to be served within half an hour after my arrival. But he did not ever hear that i was telling him stories about other countries, he kept referring every negative story to China.

Compared to the US he thought things in China are horrible and he went on and on about it.

That is when I lost my patience with him. Yes, things are not perfect, but things never are wherever you go.

And yes I complain all the time about everything, but then again I try to stick around for long enough to see the reason behind things and work on accepting things for the way they are and appreciate the progress.

New York man you need to get out and see more of the world and you will know things are different but not necessarily worse...

dear shuai guy,

i know i have not been around for a very long time, but that is only because of work. I had to travel quite a bit and did not get to write anything.

I am sorry....i will try to make up for it....

Dear Shuaiguy,

The weather in Beijing is quite bad lately and everywhere people complain about the bad air.

So ok, yes the air is an issue that needs to be improved, but the people who complain are the ones taking a taxi to get to the restaurant that's a 100m away.

They don't seem to know that Beijing really unfolds its special charme when you get on your bicycle and explore the city.

My favorite part of the day is to ride around with my bike at night time in Beijing When the traffic has calmed down and the lights are on , Beijing just has this odd charme.

I ride through the alleys with old trees at tuanjiehu and hum along to the music of my Ipod.

Being overtaken and overtaking other bikes and the soundless E-bikes just make you feel like you are part of a big community of bikers that ride through the city...

Getting to sanlitun and seeing how everything is bustling with life and lights turn on and off everywhere and you are riding trough little dirty streets and in the background the comme des garcons building is glittering in the dark. I guess it is just the extremes that live so peacefully next to each other that make this city such an exciting place to be.

Rolling through the embassy areas where I can easily imagine how this city must have been like when cars had not yet invaded every street of Beijing.

Turning into the street of my home and smelling the the local vendors grilling their "chuan'r" on the side of the street and hearing the chanting and laughing of the guests who wash the food down with a Yanjing or two....

Arriving home and being greeting by the laundry lady from the store around the corner and then jumping off the bike to buy some "huiyuan" Orange Juice for breakfast while the store owner watches your bike...

How can that not feel like this is a fantastic place to be...

dear Shuaiguy,

I went to a Chinese wedding today and it was a fascinating morning. (yes, why do Beijing weddins have to start that early??)

The good thing about any kind of event in China is that you never have to be too concerned about what to wear. Whatever you pick, there will always been at least one person who is dressed more casual than you (most of the time def. more than one) and there is always going to be someone dressed a lot more over the top than you.

keeping this in mind always helps when picking the outfit. If only there were not that many color limitations. The combined western and chinese cultures then add up to: No white, no black, no red.

quite some limitations here..

Next thing then is the "hongbao". how much to give, even number, nothing with four of course, should not be too stingy.....dun forget the red envelope (which I of course did, thanks to 7/11 for stocking those)

then millions of picture taking throughout the whole day, but then again we are used to it by now right...

and then a really tight packed programm of western and chinese traditions packed into one morning.

Today this added up to: walking down the aile, flower girls (and a boy, bet he was happy about his task) vows, speeches by best man and bridesmaid, pouring champagne into glass tower, cutting the cake, piano performance by groom, picture slide show with fog machine, first dance of bride and groom, chinese tea drinking cereomony and finally having to go from table to table to drink with everyone...

man that must be such an exhausting day for the newly weds....

ohh and I forgot the bouquet throwing part,although that was a quite intense experience, because it took me quite some efforts to hide behind the other girls...

the girl who jumped up and caught it (massive efforts on her side) broke out in tears (of happiness I wonder) and held a spontanious speech..

phewww...busy day..and guess what..the next wedding is just a week from now...

getting married is in style right now..maybe I should have caught the flowers to be en vogue but then again.....not really

Dear Shuaiguy,

I am becoming more and more Chinese with every day. Don't believe me? Here comes the list of undeniable proof:

1. I drink water at least lukewarm if not even hot, even if its 30 degrees outside

2. I can peel shrimps with my chopsticks

3. i add 'maybe" to the the answer to almost any question

4. i think a head scratching is the best remedy for headache

5. I tell taxi drivers how to get to a place and ask them if i should direct them how to get back

6. I think the best after party snack is congee with lancai

7. i get upset when people stick their chopsticks in the rice bowl

8. if my friend gets dumped by her boyfriend I tell her it's yuanfen (destiny)


TO BE CONTINUED

Dear Shuaiguy,

where do you hang out on the weekends I really wonder? I never see you or many other shuai guys around.

Lately I like to go to 2 Kolegas, it is such a laid back relaxed place. A nice change to having to get all dolled up to go to nightclub and stand next to the petite girls in their glitter dresses...

And my favourite Chinese band plays there quite often. They are called: Long shen dao, ever heard of them? Really cool reggae music combined with local content like guzhang or buddhism songs...

Whenever I listen to their music I get in a really good mood.wish I could say the same about the clubs that play hardhouse or techno and everyone is just so bored that there is nothing else to do but get drunk on rum and coke or even worse whiskey green tea..

I don't know maybe it is just me getting old..lol

dear shuaiguy,

although i have been living here for so many years, I actually still cannot cook anything Chinese.

That is probably because no matter how hard I would try, the outcome would still be a lot less tasty than whatever I can find at the restaurant down the street.

Nevertheless that is not really an excuse, is it. If someone would tell me he lived in Italy for 5 years and would not know how to make pizza I would think: how ignorant.....

well, I sometimes kind of throw asian vegetables and tofu together and splash some soysauce on top, but I guess you cannot call that cooking..at least not Chinese...

I guess I should pick up some authentic chinese cooking and if it is only to impress my friends back home....

I will probably start with 西红柿鸡蛋 ...(fried egg with tomato)

Dear Shuaiguy,

I hope i did not sound rude when I pointed out that I am not an expat. I guess i get quite touchy about that after having seen to many "so called expats" having behaved too badly in this country.

But i cannot always say I am a lot better. Sometimes you just have these days when you everyone just seems out to get to you. I guess you get that everywhere but here where everything is so much louder and complicated you just get to the melting point faster, do you know what i mean?

The other day I was in a taxi with 2 friends and it was raining like crazy, we were lucky we finally found one and we shared one taxi although we had to go to quite different directions.

The driver just went on for couple of hundred meters and then received a phone call from a friend. After he hung up he stopped by the side, turned around and said: sorry you guys have to get out here, my friend's car broke down and I need to go out help him".

We said that there is no way we will get a taxi now and that he at least should drive us somewhere where we can wait without getting totally wet.

He drove on for a bit but kept complaining that he has to go and and we kept saying that he does not have to bring us all the way but at least bring us to a place where we have a chance to wait in a dry and warm place.

But then he actually pushed my buttons when he said: " how can you be so inconsiderate and not understanding, I have to go and help my friend. "

What??? Us being inconsiderate, it was raining like crazy, my friends place was just 5 minutes away, his friends car broke down, but it was not a life threatening event and I actually had to go home urgently as well, but had already accepted that I would have to get out of the taxi at my friends place and then would have to wait for very until the rain was over.

So, I could not help but getting a little bit angry and loud with the driver and tell him that we are not the only one being inconsiderate and that throwing girls out in the rain at night would not be the noblest thing to do as well. The driver gave me an angry stare and it was about to get ugly between us.

Then luckily my friend saw that there was an empty taxi behind us, so we quickly changed cars.

Now the driver there was a really nice guy and agreed that the driver was acting inappropriate and was probably new...

He laughed with us and brought us to our destinations while chitchatting with us.

His friendly way made us calm down right away and made me remember again that there are good guys and bad guys just everywhere in the world and you should never make your judgements about a place by a bad encounter with a person.

It is up to you which type of people you surround yourself with and it has nothing to do with the country you live in...

so you want to know how come I have been staying here for such a long time as an expat?

well, first of all I AM NOT AN EXPAT, never have been and never will be. (see Wikipedia)

In its broadest sense, an expatriate is any person living in a different country from where he or she is a citizen. In common usage, the term is often used in the context of professionals sent abroad by their companies, as opposed to locally hired staff (who can also be foreigners).

You see, I choose to come here without a company offering me a lot money for it, but because I wanted to be here..big difference in my opinion....

But back to your question, I have stayed here for so many years because I love being here (and hate it almost as much at the same time)

My life here is great, I have a challenging job, I have a big place with the nicest furniture and I have the best friends, that are always there for me. (not the right order of priority)

Now I know as a foreigner you kind of have to complain all the time about everything, and I do my share of complaining about the bad air, the traffic, the rude service attitude that you get at times and and and....

but we never mention how much we actually love it until the day we go back to our home country.

well, I don't want to do that, because I really like living here..but then again..I am not an expat ;-)